Beyond Alienation – A Story of Hope and Reunion

Beyond Alienation – A Story of Hope and Reunion

by | May 6, 2026 | Stories of Hope

*Jordan’s journey is a reminder that not every social work story ends in crisis. Some take time, persistence, and the right support, but they can lead to hope.

Several years ago, Jordan and his younger sister were removed from their mother’s care and placed in foster care. While his sister remained in a stable placement, Jordan’s path was more complex. After his first placement broke down, he spent time in a children’s home before moving to a second foster family.

This new placement brought opportunity, but it also revealed the depth of his trauma. Jordan struggled to adjust. Instead of his strengths being recognised – his intelligence and strong performance at school – the focus shifted to his behaviour.

He was frequently told that if he didn’t comply, he would be sent away or reported. Over time, he began to believe that everything going wrong around him was his fault.

This is not uncommon. Children who experience instability or prolonged stress often internalise blame. Research shows that when children lack consistent, reassuring relationships, they may assume responsibility for circumstances beyond their control. This can shape their self-worth, relationships, and behaviour for years to come.

At the same time, another story was unfolding.

Jordan’s father had spent six years trying to locate his children and re-establish contact. Living in another province, he eventually moved to Pretoria in the hope of being closer to them. Despite repeated attempts to arrange visits, communication with the children’s mother remained inconsistent. He was often told they were unavailable, away with friends, or staying over elsewhere, when in reality, they had already been removed from her care.

This reflects a lesser-discussed but deeply harmful dynamic: when a child’s relationship with one parent is disrupted or obstructed, whether intentionally or through breakdowns in communication. Even without clear intent, the result can resemble parental alienation – where a child grows up disconnected from a parent who is willing and able to be present. The emotional consequences of parental alienation can be significant. It often leads to depression, anxiety, low self-image, and the inability to build meaningful relationships as adults.

Toward the end of 2025, the father’s persistence began to pay off. With the support of the social workers of CMR Gauteng East, a reunification process was initiated. Services were put in place to support him, while careful planning ensured that Jordan’s needs remained central.

When the second foster placement broke down, it created both urgency and possibility.

Jordan expressed a clear desire to be reunited with his father. With the right preparation and support, that reunification became a reality.

On a quiet Friday morning, after years apart, father and son embraced again. Overwhelmed, relieved, and ready to begin anew.

Jordan’s story does not end here. Reunification is not a finish line, but the start of a new chapter. One that requires patience, consistency, and ongoing support.

But it is a powerful reminder that even in complex cases, after years of uncertainty, positive outcomes are possible.

Hope may take time, but it is always worth working toward.

(Name changed.)

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Suffering trauma – a societal illness

Suffering trauma – a societal illness

by | Jul 13, 2021 | News

As social workers, we come into contact with shocking human behaviour on a daily basis

Violence, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, denigration. The problem of humans behaving inappropriately towards one another, causing harm and trauma to others, has existed since the dawn of history.

In times gone by a shroud of silence was drawn over happenings in the home: in more affluent societies especially, since “bad stuff could not possibly happen in good homes”. Thus much damage was inflicted that remained unnoticed and unattended.

In 2021 there is probably only a small minority that has not been reached with the message that gender violence, sexual abuse and like behaviour is unacceptable and in fact, criminal.

But much harm is inflicted without physical violence. There is the ever-present possibility of sexual abuse in the home, covered by layers of secrecy and shame. Young children (mostly girls) have a slight to none chance of coming out with the truth and being believed by older people. If the truth were ever to be laid bare, the figures would probably be so shocking as to be near-unbelievable.

“As social workers, we come into contact with shocking human behaviour on a daily basis,” explains Henda van der Merwe, director of CMR Gauteng East. “We endeavour to reach our communities with programmes aimed at preparedness as well as early intervention and of course, being at the stope face we also have to get involved where statutory steps need to be taken in the interest of a child.

“Much can be achieved in preventing problems if people remain alert and aware of the impeding social factors around them: such as cyber bullying, emotional abuse or falling prey to porn addiction. Prevention is always better than having to address concomitant problems after they have become entrenched.

“Children that had to be removed from a home environment where they suffered severe trauma, have to be assisted with counselling to help them with healing and experiencing hope. Many of them show problem behaviours that could include anger, violence, self-harming and even attempted suicide – even in very young children.

“Our social workers support the child with long-term emotional healing and integration into society. The sad realities are not lessening, they are growing. This means we need more trained people able to help with the social ills of our time, as well as community members reporting after seeing or hearing these ills, ” van der Merwe concludes.