by CMR@dmin | Feb 3, 2022 | Stories of Hope
*Kobus is 15 jaar oud en ‘n hoërskoolleerder. Hy is onlangs in ‘n rehabilitasiesentrum vir ‘n dwelmafhanklikheidsprobleem opgeneem.
Ani Grobbelaar, maatskaplike werker van CMR Gauteng-Oos se Lyttleton-tak, is dankbaar dat sy vir hom ‘n plek in ‘n sentrum kon kry. Sy stap ‘n pad saam met *Kobus, wat werklik wil omdraai en sy afhanklikheid die rug wil toekeer.
“Hierdie seun verdien nog ‘n kans. Hy het in die verkeerde vriendekring beland. Dinge by sy ouerhuis is ook nie gunstig nie. Hy woon saam met sy tannie en albei sy ouers is in ‘n motorongeluk oorlede. Ledigheid is die duiwel se oorkussing, het die ou mense altyd gesê en ons sien dit elke dag in ons werk. Kinders wat nie besig is nie, soek Vermaak. Om op straat rond te loop met niks om te doen nie, is moeilikheid soek. *Kobus het, omdat sy tannie bedags by die werk is, saam met die verkeerde vriende begin leeglê” sê Grobbelaar.
*Kobus is een van baie min verstands wat die moed het om op te staan, hulp te soek om skoon te kom en sy lewe sonder dwelms oor te begin. Grobbelaar verduidelik dat dwelms geredelik by skole te kry is. Die kind wat *Kobus se eerste pila an hom verskaf het, en hom aangemoedig het om dit te probeer, is ‘n verskaffer en maar net een van baie wat al in plaaslike skole sake doen.
“Dit is ‘n bekende feit dat solank iemand weier om te erken da thy ‘n probleem het, niemand hom sal kan help nie. Maar wanneer hy, soos *Kobus, daardie plek bereik en om hulp vra, is die kanse goed dat hy sal kan omdraa en suksesvol sal wees. Kobus sal kan teruggaan skool toe, en ‘n nuwe blaadjie omslaan.”
Die uitdaging is nog glad nie verby nie. Hy sal moet sterk staan teen die vriende wat hom in die gemost laat beland het – hulle is nog daar en hul dwelmgebruik duur voort.
*Kobus het my vertel dat dagga so algemeen is dat min kinders hulle eintlik daar steur. Iemand wat sou dink om dit nie te gebruik nie, word uitgelag en vertel hy weet nie dat dit heeltemal veilig is en dat ‘n mens nie aan dagga verslaaf kan raak nie. Kinders glo dit en so waag baie van hulle maklik die eerste stap na algehele dwelmverslawing. Hy het self eers dagga begin gebruik, en later ander pille se bedwelming leer ken.
“Ons verleen ondersteuning aan Kobus vir so lank as wat hy dit nodig het. CMR Gauteng-Oos lewer statutêre dienste aan kinders tot op 18-jarige ouderdom, in ooreenstemming met die Kinderwet no.38 van 2005.”
Henda van der Merwe, direkteur van CMR Gauteng-Oos, benadruk die feit dat dit nie net een skool se uitdaging is nie, maar alle skole s’n.
“Om kinders te help om nie in die gat t eval nie, is almal se verantwoordelikheid. Ouers moet deel word van die stryd. Weet waarmee jou kind besig is. Onderwysers, beraders, sielkundiges, maatskaplike werkers, almal moet hande vat en keer dat ons kinders in hierdie strik gevang word,” sê sy.
CMR Gauteng-Oos het 13 takkantore oor die hele Pretoria heen, en bedien altesaam 27 000 mense per jaar met maatskaplike ondersteuning.
*’n Skuilnaam is gebruik omdat die seun ‘n minderjarige is en nie geidentifiseer mag word nie.
by CMR@dmin | Jan 24, 2022 | Stories of Hope
This office have children covered with dark clouds when their biological mother passed away. They were left with no one to care for and look after them as their biological father was someone who had mental health challenges.
CMR Zithobeni intervened and placed the children into a CYCC (Child and youth care centre)already in 2012 seeing that the children needed care and protection. By that time there was no one in the family willing to care for and protect the children.
During their stay at the CYCC, the children had no place to visit during the school holidays. The CMR Zithobeni Social worker tracked down the maternal aunt of the children and she explained that children need to know their family and origin as they should not stay in the CYCC forever. Reunification services were rendered to the children and the maternal aunt. The children started to visit their aunt during the school holidays. They created a great bond as a family. And after two years of rendering reunification services to the children and their aunt, the children were officially reunited with their maternal aunt. The children were placed in the CYCC for full 8 years. And filled with joy and excitement.
This story gives us hope that when we render reunification services, children who are orphans get a chance to know their family of origin. Some may be reunited some may not, but through rendering reunification services children know their family origin when they grow up.
Being a social worker, we’re not in it for the income but for the greater outcome
by CMR@dmin | Dec 21, 2021 | Support
Bright Christmas lights. Festive music everywhere, telling us to feel jolly and get into the festive spirit – because it’s Christmas.
For many, it is a time of family gatherings and despite the past two year’s crisis management of almost all life situations, the Christmas feeling is felt in shops already.
People really want to feel “normal” again, and it is understandable that they are reaching towards a feeling of togetherness and belonging – the very things we have been denied these past two years.
There are however thousands who are without family. Some of them live on the street. Their experience of Christmas does not include lights and trees. Their biggest hope is to have food every day. Many others may well not be living on the street, but they do not know where to go since they do not have a family to be with. During the pandemic, many people have lost loved ones, whose empty seats will be difficult to cope with.
Money problems, financial stress, joblessness. 2021’s stressors are worse than that of 2020. There is still uncertainty, especially now with the new developments around the virus.
And many stand alone. Loneliness can affect anyone, even small children. Think of a single mom who has no family, who struggles to engender a Christmas feeling in her home. Small children especially are drawn to the trees, lights and gifts in the shops. And mom does not have a festive bone in her body. In fact, the stress of the holiday season may mean she really does not look forward to this time of year.
Against this backdrop, things can go wrong. Children who do not understand, become demanding. And mom feels guilty, too. Thus loneliness gets its claws into her. And smaller children feel it too, especially only children.
“Loneliness goes hand in hand with the lack of a normal feeling of belonging. Everyone is exposed to this. Parents can also use alcohol or drugs as a remedy for loneliness – with negative effects on the children. A parent who is under the influence cannot behave properly, and this is one contributor to family violence,” explains Ani Grobbelaar, social worker of CMR Gauteng Oos’ Lyttelton branch.
“Then, of course, there is the problem of parents working while the children are on holiday. Children left home alone without supervision causes their own problems. Older children go walking around and if you look for trouble, you will find it. Apart from the safety aspect, there is also boredom. No child can watch TV for 8 hours without becoming bored. They start looking for something to do, and drugs, alcohol, porn and online games easily fill this gap. Parents must do everything in their power to find alternatives to keep children from these bad influences.
“Not just violence but also child neglect increase during this time,” explains Henda van der Merwe, director of CMR Gauteng-Oos. “For us, there is no doubt that family violence will see a sharp increase in the coming weeks. At the end of two years of the global pandemic, we should not forget that the emotional toll of that still plays a role in families. Most people just want to forget that it happened, but we must remember that more than 30 % of our country’s people are jobless. The stress is bigger than in other years.
“The social workers in our organisation are confronted with much more than the need for food. Family support is of the utmost importance during the festive season,” she explains.
The question is how to handle it? There is no easy answer. “Stop. Think. How can what you do in the next 5 minutes, help another person through this period? Can a few minutes of your caring perhaps change his experience – and stop him from grabbing onto something to help him feel better. To care is to give – a few minutes could change a person’s life irrevocably,” Van der Merwe concludes.
by CMR@dmin | Oct 20, 2021 | Stories of Hope
10 years ago I met a 4 year old shy, angry and physically abused little boy with a drunk aggressive mother.
About 10 years ago I met a 4 year old shy, angry and physically abused little boy with a drunk aggressive mother. *Pete’s mother would abuse him when she got drunk and this time she burned him with a candle. This has not been the first time she did such a cruel thing.
We tried to help the mother with parental guidance and enrolled *Pete in our new pre-primary school. He was the first child enrolled. His mother tried to cooperate but struggled with her alcohol addiction. Three years later she passed away and her family wanted to take *Pete back to Lesotho to look after sheep on the farm. He was such a bright little boy and cried he did not know these people and wanted to stay with his stepfather who cared for him since he was small.
*Pete was placed in his stepfather’s foster care and he stayed in school. Foster care with the stepfather went well until he became ill, *Pete had to be moved. One of his teachers was very fond of him and applied for foster care. It was a difficult road and the child struggled to get used to a ‘normal’ home and family. He ran away back to the squatter camp. He rejected the family, he physically attacked the foster mother and he was angry at me the social worker.
The foster parents refused to give up. Five years later I received this message from the foster mother. Email from a prestigious private high school. “*Pete is being acknowledged in today’s Assembly, as it is a senior Assembly and be awarded the trophy in the next junior Assembly, however, he is receiving this trophy for the outstanding speech he wrote as a contribution to our BLOOM Campaign for Public Speaking. Having only started at our school this year I was so impressed to see the strong values, maturity and integrity this young man has shown and I feel that he is one of the most deserving recipients of this award. I would like to congratulate him on this achievement. Kind Regards’’ The foster mother’s words: “If maybe you thought miracles don’t happen anymore!”
by CMR@dmin | Oct 13, 2021 | Child Abuse, Stories of Hope
As ‘n maatskaplike werk hulporganisasie is dit vir ons ‘n riem onder die hart as oplettende volwassenes ons kontak om kinders te kan help
Die meisie kyk met leë oë om haar rond. Waar is hy? Haar pa het haar gedwing om hier te kom staan en bedel. Sy doen dit al jare lank. Elke aand na donker moet sy teruggaan na die klein krot wat hy so lendelam staangemaak het tussen twee geboue. Net ‘n enkelmatras wat winter en somer vir hulle ‘n bed moet wees. Vir haar ma en pa moet ook plek gemaak word om darem ietwat van lê te beleef. Douvoordag word sy weer uitgeboender om haar bakhanddag nog eens aan te pak.
Aletta is al 18. Sy kan nie lees of skryf nie, omdat sy nooit skool beleef het nie. Van die lewe van ‘n tiener kan sy niks vertel nie – omdat sy nog maar net as ‘n bedelaar bestaan. Skuins klappe is alledaags, veral as haar pa nie geld het vir sy dwelms nie. Drank is ‘n tweede keuse, ook makliker om in die hande te kry – dis te sê as sy genoeg geld “huistoe” gebring het. Haar ma is ook verslaaf. Vir haar gee hul nou en dan ‘n trek dagga.
Aletta se ma is ‘n sekswerker. Sy neem Aletta ook soms saam – as die nood groot en die bedelgeld te skraps is. Sy weet nie van keuses maak nie. Ander kinders van haar ouderdom is besig met loopbaankeuses, studiekeuses, en matriekafskeidrokke. Aletta sal nooit ‘n matriekafskeidrok hê nie – en ook nooit matriek behaal nie. Aletta kan nie kies wat sy wil doen nie.
Sy weet nie hoe gekookte kos proe nie. Brood, worsies en polonie. Dis hul stapelvoedsel. Sy voel baie gelukkig as sy ‘n beker koffie in die hande het. Dis vir haar ‘n groot bederf. Nie melk nie. Maar darem ‘n lekseltjie suiker. Soms.
Aletta het nog ‘n sussie ook. Hulle is deur maatskaplike werkers in pleegsorg geplaas omdat hulle nog minderjarig is. Haar jongste sussie, Karien, is nog in die laerskool al is sy amper 14. Sy het soveel skool gemis dat sy nog prober inhaal. Net soos Aletta, het haar pa haar seksueel gemolesteer en aangerand. Maar gelukkig vir Karien, het ‘n ander werkemer by die maatskappy waar haar pa soms dagwerk doen, opgemerk iets is nie pluis toe hy Karien gesien het nie. Sy het toe werk daarvan gemaak om hulp by ‘n maatskaplike werker te kry.
Karien is na assessering van die omstandighede, deur die kinderhof in pleegsorg geplaas. Sy kies om nie kontak met haar ouers te hê nie. Aletta dink Karien is een van die gelukkiges. Wat betyds hulp gekry het om uit haar swak agtergrond en omstandighede te ontsnap. In haar pleegouers se sorg sal Karien keuses kan uitoefen. Sy sal haarself kan verbeter en ‘n gesonde toekoms kan skep.
“As ‘n maatskaplike werk hulporganisasie is dit vir ons ‘n riem onder die hart as oplettende volwassenes ons kontak om kinders te kan help. Vir Aletta is dit te laat, maar Karien kan nog ‘n sukses van haar lewe maak met die hulp van haar pleegouers. CMR Gauteng-Oos ondersteun pleegouers met opleiding en lewer verdere dienste soos berading en sielkundige hulp waar nodig,” sê Henda van der Merwe, direkteur van CMR Gauteng-Oos.
Kontak jou naaste CMR kantoor as jy belangstel om ‘n pleegouer te word.
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