by CMR@dmin | Jun 1, 2021 | Stories of Hope
My parents had no proper accommodation and lived in very bad circumstances. My mother tested positive for Dagga and Crystal Meth and my father could not take proper care of me.
Because there were no close family that could take proper care of me, the social worker explained to my biological parents that I had to be placed in temporary safe care. My parents visited me for the first time at the Place of Safety House and I was very emotional.
My parents attended the Children’s Court Proceedings and afterwards visited me at the Place of Safety House and the visit went well. My parents could not visit me during the lockdown for Covid-19 pandemic but could phone me. My parents had to follow the rules of the Place of Safety House.
I have adjusted well to the structure and the routine of my Place of Safety House. I have contact on a regular base with my biological parents but I enjoy going back to play with the other toddlers at my Place of Safety House. With my last visit under the supervision of the social worker my mother again tested positive for drugs.
The social workers introduced me to Mr and Mrs X, who would like to become my Foster parents. I enjoyed it to play with Mr and Mrs X.
Mr and Mrs X is busy with the application and screening process to become my Foster parents.
Child abuse is when a parent or caregiver, whether through action or failing to act, causes injury, death, emotional harm or risk of serious harm to a child. There are many forms of child maltreatment, including neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, exploitation and emotional abuse.
by CMR@dmin | May 31, 2021 | Stories of Hope
This is my story….
My biological father does not have contact with me and his current whereabouts are unknown. My mother refuses to share information about my biological father.
My mother got married again. I was removed from their care. My parents both abused drugs and we were also exposed to drugs.
I was abused in to such an extent, that when I was “naughty”, my parents would not give me food. We were then placed in temporary safe care and later placed in foster care. These placements have been challenging.
I experienced developmental difficulties, being severally traumatized and there are ongoing conflict between my foster parents and my parents.
The conflict between my foster parents and biological parents has calmed down, due to the fact that the social workers made it clear that contact will take place through the professionals.
My placement however, have been successful up to date. I don’t know what my future holds in for me but I will keep on praying that somehow I will be happy as a grown-up.
Some abusers never leave external marks. However if you could see the marks they leave on our souls, you would recoil in horror.
by CMR@dmin | Apr 13, 2021 | Stories of Hope
A Pretoria boy who spent seven years in foster care, was recently reunited with his mother.
“At age seven he was removed from his family home due to severe violence. The entire family was at risk – one of the worst cases we have ever seen,” explains the social worker who supported the boy all this time. “But his story is a story of hope: we never give up” says Henda van der Merwe, director of CMR Gauteng-Oos.
Kobus* (nom de plume) struggled initially – as a result of the trauma he experienced at such a young age; he had many emotional and behavioural problems to overcome,” she explains.
“His caregivers at the foster home had a very trying time with his anger problems, anxiety and suicide attempts. Such a road is not an easy one and demands more than just love and patience.”
CMR Gauteng-Oos supports their foster parents with ongoing training and emotional support and in cases like this young boy – the impact on the foster family is carefully monitored and problems are addressed.
“The CMR, a registered Child Protection Organisation with statutory powers, aim to keep families together and manages to reunite families despite the common impression that we just remove children from their homes,” explains van der Merwe.
“Circumstances like child molestation or -neglect leads to a court order which instructs organisations like CMR Gauteng-Oos to remove the child. The child is taken to a place of safety and can be placed in a foster home, Industrial School or Children’s Home, following careful investigation into what would be best for the individual child. Children are only returned to their homes if the circumstances have changed in a positive way and if deemed in the interest of the child.
Kobus and his mother were quite nervous before reuniting, says the social worker who assisted them with the reuniting process.
What led to this happening? He wrote his mother a letter in which he asked her to answer his many questions about his background. She had only had telephonic contact with the social worker, but after receiving the letter, she expressed the wish to have her son living with her. Both of them received counselling to prepare them emotionally.
Van der Merwe concludes: “In accordance with the Children’s Act (Act 38 of 2005) we try in all cases not to alienate a child from his parents. Social workers have to keep the child in contact with the parents, with the help of his ‘new parents’. A working agreement, prepared by the social worker, is entered into, and signed by all parties. A child’s story can become a success story. Kobus’ story is such a story of hope and success.”
CMR Gauteng-Oos currently supports almost 900 children in foster care.
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by CMR@dmin | Sep 29, 2020 | Stories of Hope
A maternal grandfather brought his two grandchildren to a CMR social worker after their mother passed away. The children had no birth certificates and as result they were not admitted to the nearest school. The school that did admit them was far from home and the travelling cost was taking up all their money.
The social worker made them a priority and a home visit was scheduled. Upon arrival she was informed that the grandfather also passed away. He was the only breadwinner in the family. The children’s uncle is completing his grade 12. He was willing to take the children in his care. Several times the uncle was found by the social worker selling mielies and chicken feet on the street corner after school.
The social worker with the help of the social auxiliary worker asked for permission to take the children to a district surgeon for age assessment. The children were included in the annual CMR Ivory Park holiday project. This is specifically for children in need of care on the CMR Ivory Park case load.
Various service providers are invited to attend and give educational talks to the children during the holidays. This case was discussed with the presiding officer at the children’s court. The social workers’ report was submitted to the court and the case was finalised. Court orders were issued together with a form so that the social worker can assist the client with birth certificates application. The social worker took the birth certificate application to Home Affairs that sent them back to the local Hospital for notification of birth. The Hospital confirmed that the children were born in the hospital.
It was a relief when the social worker finally received a call from Home Affairs informing her that the birth certificates were ready to be collected. At last the uncle can now apply for foster care grant in respect of the children concerned, he will be able to concentrate fully in his school work and the children can attend school.
by CMR@dmin | Sep 17, 2020 | Stories of Hope
Tsepo’s* story is an example of the important work social workers are doing.
Cases like this motivates social workers tremendously and make that burned out and emotional moments worth it.
Tsepo* is a 13-year old boy who lost both parents due to HIV / AIDS. After the death of his mother, he was placed in foster care with his grandmother in Centurion. The grandmother works as a housekeeper and receives a small income.
Tsepo* is also HIV-positive. He travels alone by train or taxi to the Attridgeville clinic to receive his medication. His grandmother usually gives him extra money so that he can buy lunch. Tsepo* never uses this money for himself. He uses it for another taxi ride to visit his baby half-brother to make sure he is well cared for. If the baby needs something, Tsepo* provides the remaining money to contribute. Tsepo* has also contacted the social worker when he was worried about his half-brother.
Tsepo’s* warm heart helped us to realize that caring does not require a lot of money and that even a child can reach out to people in need.
*Name changed to protect identiy
by CMR@dmin | Sep 14, 2020 | Stories of Hope
Dit was soos enige ander dag – daar was vele oproepe om te hanteer, hofverslae om te skryf, hofafsprake om na te kom, onderhoude van mense wat my kom sien het, verslae om in te dien, geboortesertifikate om by Binnelandse Sake te kry ens, ens….’n deurmekaar lessenaar waarop ek àltyd na alles soek!
En toe kom die oproep van my kollega by die hospitaal. Kan ek asb help – hulle het ‘n HIV positiewe dogterjie daar van 6 maande wat uitgeplaas moét word. Sy het nou persoonlike TLC nodig, hope en hope daarvan. My moed het in my skoene ingesak – dit mag ‘n probleem wees. Waar kry ek nou veiligheidplekouers wat my met so ‘n dogtertjie kan help?? Talle oproepe later laat weet ek my kollega – ek is besig om veiligheidsouers te soek, hou net vas! Ek moes toé reeds geweet het dat God hier aan die werk is. Jy weet, soms vergeet ons om te onthou dat God àltyd met ‘n plan werk. Nietemin, so skakel ek een na die ander van my veiligheidsouers. Jammer, jammer ons kan nie help nie, geen opening nie, kan nie nou ‘n HIV positiewe baba inneem nie, ens…. My laaste oproep is na Johanna wat ek weet reeds twee HIV positiewe pleegkinders in haar sorg het. Miskien kan sy help (net vir ‘n rukkie!) of weet sy dalk van iemand wat my kan help. Ja, sê sy, bring haar, ek sal help, maar onthou, net vir ‘n kort tydjie. Dankie Here, nou kan ons Mary huis toe bring!! Skakel my kollega by die hospitaal nadat twee dae van onophoudelike skakel, reeds verstryk het. Ek kom haal Mary môre.
Ek pak my gewone sakkie wanneer ek babas by ‘n hospitaal gaan haal. Ek los maar die klein babakleertjie in die sakkie, en pak 3-6 maande kleertjies in – Mary is darem al 6 maande!! By die hospitaal stap my kollega saam met my na die baba-afdeling. Ons wag vir die besige suster om te kom help. Ek verwonder my soos altyd aan al die babatjies daar. Ek stap na wat vir my soos ‘n 6 maande oue dogtertjie lyk – ja dis seker sy!! Die suster wat intussen opdaag stap na ‘n wiegie met ‘n babatjie wat sowat 2 maande oud lyk en soos ‘n siek babatjie boonop!! “Nee” skreeu dit in my binneste, jy maak ‘n fout suster, hier is Mary, daardie babatjie lyk vir my nie baie lekker nie – inteendeel, sy lyk vir my tot die dood toe siek!! Die suster met die sagte oë kyk na my en sê sag, “nee Anne-Marie, hier is sy!” Maar suster, sy lyk dan 2 maande oud en nie gesond nie, is julle seker sy is gereed vir ontslag? Die koudheid van my bloed maak my bewerig – ek vra om eers die pediater te sien. Toe laasgenoemde opdaag verseker sy my dat Mary nou huis toe moét gaan. Hulle kan niks meer vir haar in die hospitaal doen nie. Sy het nou baie liefde en persoonlike aandag nodig. Ek luister met angs en probeer kophou tussen verduidelikings oor al die medikasie wat hierdie mensie moet inneem. Flou probeer ek weer vra: dokter is jy seker? Hierdie kleine amper – mensie wat soos ‘n pasgebore baba lyk, is jy regtig seker??
Later is ek daar uit – ‘n kleine baie brose mensie toegedraai in ‘n kombersie. Die klere wat ek gebring het, hopeloos te groot. Gelukkig was die 0-3 maande klere nog in die sak. Mary weeg sowat 2,6 kg en is 6 maande oud!! Ek onthou dat ek met God gepraat het en gevra het “wat nou?!” Ek laat Johanna weet ek is op pad – moet net gou kantoor omry om die nodige dokumente te fotostateer. Op pad begin Mary met ‘n roggelhoesie hoes. “Asseblief Liewe Jesus” bid ek, “moenie dat sy nou doodgaan nie!!” Ek praat met haar en smeek haar om vas te byt. By die kantoor aangekom, begin daar so ‘n bloederige slym by die neusie uitkom. Ek is amper histeries, maar besef ek sal moet kalm bly. Ek praat met God en eis van Hom om hierdie kind te beskerm – Hy het haar immers oor my pad geplaas? My kollegas by die kantoor bars in trane uit. Dit help my nou glad nie – ek maak klaar en jaag amper na Johanna toe. Daar gekom ontvang sy my met haar gewone hartlikheid, maar ek sien die kommer in haar oë by die aanskoue van Mary. Johanna is immers ‘n hoogs opgeleide verpleegsuster, hoekom lyk sy so bekommerd?! Sal iemand asseblief net vir my sê dat alles okay is?? Ek verduidelik die situasie aan Johanna en oorhandig ‘n hele hoop medikasie aan haar wat Mary moet kry. Ek groet en vra dat sy my op hoogte hou. Sowat 21:00 daardie aand skakel Johanna. Anne-Marie, verklaar sy, jy weet natuurlik dat Mary baie siek is – ek mag jou dalk later vanaand weer bel met baie slegte nuus. Ek bid tot God en wonder hoekom doen Hy dit aan my?? Ek vergeet skoon dat dit nie om my gaan nie. Iewers vanaand veg ‘n kleine mensie vir kosbaarheid wat ons “lewe” noem. Dit raak stil in my binneste en ek weet onwrikbaar dat God sal sorg.
So het ‘n nag ‘n week geword en ‘n week ‘n maand. So weer het ‘n maand maande geword en laat weet Johanna my op ‘n gereelde basis dat Mary se toestand verbeter en stabiliseer. Tipies God verwyt Hy my nie oor my ongeloof nie, maar gaan net voort om Sy genadewerk voort te sit. Tydens ‘n besoek aan Mary op haar eerste verjaarsdag maak God die Hemel net weer vir my oop. Ek word begroet met ‘n oop bekkie met ‘n tandjie hier en daar!! Mary steek haar handjies vir my uit en ek druk ‘n kleine wonderwerkie uit God se Hand styf teen my vas!! “Hoe groot is U, hoe groot is U” – Dankie Liewe Jesus, baie dankie!!
Dit gaan goed met Mary – natuurlik is sy steeds HIV positief maar daar is hoop vir ‘n toekoms. Haar storie is nog nie voltooi nie. Weens Johanna se ouderdom sal sy nie meer vir lank na Mary kan kyk nie. Ons is besig om aan ‘n nuwe plan vir hierdie merkwaardige dogtertjie te werk. Maar ek is nie bang nie. Het God nie reeds gewys dat hier ‘n Plan is wat ons nog net nie mooi raaksien nie?? Ek onthou hoe bang ek was, ek onthou hoe my bloed yskoud in my are geword het toe ek bang was Mary sterf in my arms. Dankie Grote God!! En nou bly geloof, hoop en liefde, hierdie drie, maar die grootste hiervan is die Liefde!! Dankie God en dankie ook vir mense soos Johanna!!
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